Warning: Don't Drive During Death Blizzards

I'm going to Tarantino this story a little bit, of course, without the dramatic music, fight scenes, and untimely death, you can fill in those blanks.

So there I was, sweating and panic stricken, my life literally flashing before my eyes, or maybe that was the headlights of the oncoming cars blinding me? But either way, terror ripping through my body as I made a turn on a winding road during a horrific snow storm, aka the one going on right now. BUT ALAS, as I made my turn, my car didn't feel the necessity to follow suit, this is the moment, where I know, oh dear god, I'm screwed. There I go, slipping and sliding and narrowly missing a fence, as I get stuck in a ditch. This is the monotonous fun part, where I'm going back and forth, back and forth, trying to get out of this hell hole, that's trapping me and my beloved Jeep, Kurt, you can only imagine cars have begun forming a line behind me out of sheer annoyance. But here, we reach the climax in my little adventure, where I jut out of this ditch with full throttle, charging into the opposite lane. Drivings fun isn't it? But no need to feel bad for me, feel bad for the fence, the person walking in that weather? and the car I almost hit, and for what? to bring a book back to the library, go figure.

I'm moving to California.

4/4/1979- 1/22/08

I'm not over it

Let Freedom Ring From Washington DC

Watching the Inauguration today I felt an extreme pride for my country, one that I haven't felt in a long time. The minute Obama placed his hand on the same bible that Lincoln had been sworn into office with, shows just how far this country has come, and just how far we still need to go. No matter the color of his skin, his beliefs, or whether you feel him worthy or not, this day marked a significant time in all of our histories, as Americans, a new era has definitely begun.

The message of hope seemed to ring true as this years Inaugural theme, Colin Powell called it a "Proud day for all Americans." Most people didn't believe they would see the first African American President in their lifetime, many echoed the words of the late, great Dr. Martin Luther King, it only seemed appropriate this day rides on the coattails of his birthday. Dr. King once said "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." He asked that we should overcome terror and violence through extending hope and share the American dream... and to let freedom ring. In 1961 John F. Kennedy was sworn into office and during his Inaugural speech he famously said "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." These men were not silenced by the bullet that took their lives, they live on in the hearts of the people who believe their words, and now through a great man who obviously learned from the men and women that came before him.

It will no doubt be a tremendous struggle for President Obama, he will have to face things that no other President has ever had to face, It's now his job, and our job as Americans to rebuild this country, through the war we struggle with everyday and our economy lying in ruins. It's not easy being President, probably the only argument that kept me from bashing my head into a wall during Bush's Presidency (might I add that the highlight of my day, during this historic event, was when Bush got on the helicopter one last time, to go back home to Texas) I, however, have total optimism for the next couple years, I feel the change, the strength behind his words, and now I need to feel the unity, that only we as human beings, can bring about. Welcome, President Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States.

Whoa

I'm 18, when did that happen? and where was I?

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd; Labour and rest, that equal periods keep; "Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;" Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n, Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n. Grace shines around her with serenest beams, And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams. For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms, And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes, For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring, For her white virgins hymeneals sing, To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away, And melts in visions of eternal day.
-excerpt from Eloisa to Abelard, Alexander Pope

Milk: You Gotta Give Em Hope

It's been surprisingly difficult for me to write about this film, I feel like this amazing movie deserves an equally amazing piece of writing, something I take to heart. Ironically its always harder for me to write about something I'm passionate about, trying to make it as real and honest as it feels to me. Not to mention my unhealthy obsession with Milk's director, Gus Van Sant, and trying to pay homage to him as an astounding film maker. However, this incredible story, is the true story of one mans pursuit of equality, his campaign for rights, and his ability to bring together a nation in the midst of war, hate, and free love.
Harvey Milk was the first openly gay man to be elected to public office, during a time when psychologists still considered homosexuality a mental disorder.
Sean Penn captures the essence that is Harvey Milk, real life friends of Harvey couldn't deny the unbelievable similarities. Van Sant always has a way of bringing life to his characters. We see a different side of James Franco in this movie as Milk's boyfriend Scott Smith, Josh Brolin gives a performance of a lifetime as Dan White, not to mention the moving characters by Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna, and Alison Pill just to name a few. Van Sant's choice of actors in this movie is undeniably perfect, this film without question deserves every critical acclaim, every award nomination it receives, for me, winning no less than Best Director, Best Actor, Best everything. Penn, takes over the movie, with his role as Harvey Milk, the flamboyant but kind-hearted man, you feel the power when he tells Dan White "Its more than an issue, this is our lives were fighting for." This movie carries with it, some of the most compelling speeches and words, in cinema history, not to mention the infamous "Hope Speech" at the 1978 San Francisco Gay Freedom Day Festival:

"All men are created equal... and no matter how hard you try... you can never erase those words! that is what America is!"

While these words still ring in my ears, and the chills still roll over my body. I realize the magnitude of Harvey Milk's words, how mesmerizing and honest they were, those words gave people the right to have their hope, to keep it with them and to fight to the death to for it. Unfortunately for us, on November 27, 1978, Harvey Milk, did just that, he was shot and killed along with Mayor George Moscone, Milk was 48 years old.
However heartbreaking the ending to this story is, people like Anita Bryant and John Briggs did not win that day, however determined Dan White was, to kill every hope and close every door, he silenced no one but himself. Even in death Harvey Milk brought people together, through his legacy he will never be forgotten, he has been brought back through Van Sant's incredible movie, he is forever kept in the hearts of those involved, or someone, like me, who is lucky enough to hear about his inspiring life... because no matter how hard they tried, we will never forget his words...

Harvey Milk not only gave hope to the people on Castro Street, not only the people of San Fransisco, his words reached beyond that, and further then he, himself, could have ever imagined, through his hardships he gained recognition, through discrimination he persevered, and through fear he gained power. Harvey Milk was nothing less than a hero.

"If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door."

Seven Pounds

Walking into the theater I was still confused on what I was about to see, based off the trailers for Seven Pounds the only thing I really got from it was that Will Smith was in it, nothing else.
But as this movie unfolded and the idea behind it started to become more clear I realized the heart behind this film and how real it felt to me. Without giving anything away, and while keeping you just as confused as I was, go see this film, its inspiring.

Meet, Your New Favorite Dog

Marley:)

I'm Spewing Deranged Emotion

So, there we have it, in a matter of 24 hours all hell has officially broken loose.

Recently I've been trying to find the easiest way for me to write about this, tip-toeing around the idea that weighs so heavy on my heart, ignoring it never helped me at all, even if it gave me the slightest comfort, its never fully let me forget. But I've come to realize that to explain this, is like describing the color blue to a blind person. So it will just go a little something like this: Recent chaos breaking loose in an already unbalanced, dysfunctional family only makes my days full of more confusion and more anxiety and yet it brings me to realize how unreliable life is, how precious family is, can you even imagine waking up one morning and losing someone who has been there from the beginning, like losing a part of yourself, do you really ever come back from something like that? Its such a hollow feeling, so empty and sad, you begin to mourn for the days when you were a little less conscious, where these problems were only far away ideals that could never pierce the innocent veil over your eyes. Whether this is relatable or not, whether this makes sense or not, whether it matters or not, it terrifies the hell out of me, and whether I want it to be or not, its real... the realest thing Ive ever felt.