And I'm Thankful For..

Nothing? But that's not fair is it? I'm thankful for everything and anything, the good and the bad, I have absolutely no reason to not be thankful, but today, on the day that we are supposed to look back through life and realize what we truly are thankful for, my mind goes blank, not because I'm ungrateful, I just can't seem to get past my bad vibe tonight, I think its mostly because I feel the oncoming anguish that is sickness and all its mercilessness, or the fact my mind feels as if its staged a mutiny to the rest of my body, being completely unresponsive and impatient, only to be compared to Richard Ashcroft leaving The Verve, or the south succeeding from the union. See, it's bad, I'm speaking only in analogies, help me. But the truth is, I am thankful, I'm thankful for life, even when I'm not so thankful for it, I'm thankful for my insane family, because I could never express it enough how much they mean to me, and hey, I'm even thankful for my mind, and all its offbeat ways of thinking, even when it decides to go a-wall on me... like Jack Nicholson in The Shinning.

(Alright, I'm done)


Happy Thanksgiving

Look, I'm Getting All Nostalgic

Oh, what happened to the days when bands like Led Zeppelin were on top, selling out concerts and making incredible music, when Hendrix was still alive and wailing, before they shot Lennon and his ideas of peace, love, and music. When people like Kurt Cobain and Elliott Smith were out defining a generation. The kind of musicians that you look back on realizing just how much they mean to you, how their songs always seemed to find a perfect match to your emotion, and your everlasting gratitude to them for always being there for you,

all you have to do is hit play.

Which brings me to today's standard of a great artist, when you don't actually need any type of musical talent to sell out concerts, set up a sturdy tween fan base, and sell your soul to Walmart.

Hey, Congratulations

Coldplay -A Rush Of Blood To My Head

I should start out by saying I've been waiting for this concert for months, but the many sleepless nights I endured we're well worth it.

I arrived at the Delta Center (yes I refuse to call it anything else) in SLC, already shaking from my excitement, or the fact I almost hit 3 cars speeding to the venue, but none the less, shaking. I arrive in the box suite, which I was lucky enough to get for this milestone in my life. Those suites give you a complete ego trip, I yelled I am a golden god, several times to innocent bystanders below me and I almost called room service, not because I needed anything, mostly just because.... needless to say the people I was with think I've lost it.
The first band up, was a band called SleeperCar from Texas, I'll admit, I subconsciously like the first acts to hurry up and go, unless I know them, but this band was really excellent, the singer definitely had a voice and their rendition of Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones had me cheering for them.

Next up was a guy by the name of Jon Hopkins, he definitely was something else, I kid you not, his set was the closest thing I will ever come to an acid trip, there were several questioning looks from the crowd, like who slipped us something? He played a piano hooked up to several synths (I'm not instrument savvy when it comes to things that need more than 3 cables) however, something you might throw into the giant, not-easily-categorized, genre that is Electronica, but he played one song for 30 minutes straight, with a video playing in the background of repetitive bright, flashing colors, morphing shapes, and crazy dancing animals, it was extremely memorizing and altogether really good, quite original, the guy has talent. I just think it confused most the middle aged, soccer moms, in the crowd.

Finally! We come to the most anticipated event of the evening and the reason for my sudden urge to write, Coldplay ladies and gentlemen... Coldplay has always been a favorite, but to see them live, is awe-inspiring, if there ever was such a universal band with their honest words and unbelievable songs, it was Coldplay. The stage was huge, special made so that Chris Martin could run around as he pleased, decorated with pictures from their album Viva La Vida, and monitors to display images, live, from the concert. They started out with Violet Hill, as the crowd erupted into clapping and yelling, and from that point they hook you, I don't think I took my eyes off that stage for one second, they went from song to song, fluctuating from their Album Parachutes all the way through Viva La Vida, playing some of my favorites like Fix You and The Scientist, even at one point running into the nosebleeds and playing a song right in the crowd. Chris Martin definitely has the most incredible stage presence, his voice truly captivates you and sends you to that dream world that reminds you of the wonderful things in this world, he uses the entire stage like his personal playground, jumping and flailing his arms around, and he plays that piano like that's all he was made for. Truthfully I don't think this concert should have ever ended, I was fully planning on staying there forever, but when they reached their final song and exited, the predicated "ONE MORE SONG!" understanding was met, when they returned one last time to play, what else? Yellow.
If there is ever something to do before you take that final breath on this Earth, it is go see Coldplay live.

Chris Martin, you can sing me to sleep anytime.

"To Sleep: Perchance To Dream"

What is it about death that grabs hold of you and doesn't let you go? It wakes you up every single day and makes you mourn, it forces you to remember, it makes sure you know your breathing and with that, you are still here, you are still alive, now appreciate it. This is the feeling that keeps you up at night, the emotion that you can't quite grasp because its far to complex to describe and the only real way to deal with it, is to become numb, to completely void yourself of the feeling and try to forget why it is, you ever felt it.

But isn't that the ironic part of death? You feel most alive, when you are the closest to losing it, or even when you see death and you wish that you had a little more time to just be something, mean something. Can you even imagine knowing you are going to die and trying your hardest to say the things you never said, do the things you were always afraid to do? Finally appreciate the ones you love. Maybe it's just the Donnie Darko imagination in me, but how can others be so complete and satisfied when "Every living creature on earth dies alone." Maybe a little dramatic but it's point gets across, that complete sense of being solo in this world, maybe what I'm trying to say is, it scares the hell out of me, feeling like nothing will ever get better because what do we have to look forward to now? more death? more sadness? there is something just so unfair about death, something so tragic and so merciless, because we are the ones left with the pain, not only did someone lose the most precious gift in the world, life, we have to go on living with our disbelief, the even idea that you will never see that person in their physical form again, that they are gone, literally gone from this world, every day, every minute, forever.... Forever.... now that's an unforgiving word. Why does death have to play the universal alarm clock that rings and says "Feel this pain, feel this emptiness, feel this life."

I think Shakespeare got it, he always sought the truth of death, his plays were usually about the desperation of your last moments, I think that maybe he too, laid awake at night questioning life, maybe becoming utterly confused by its meaning, and haunted by its message, one of my favorite quotes, more or less ideas, of his, is from Hamlet when Hamlet explains:

"To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream."

My heart goes out to his family, and loved ones.

Prop H8te

I was at the SLC protest on Friday, which was pretty badass there is just something so awe-inspiring about people of all types,
orientations, races, genders, etc etc. getting together and just fighting for the greater good, basically saying, equality is the way to go, stop the hate, spread the love. It was freezing outside but being there, I felt so warm, its nice to be reminded that we can gather peacefully with nothing but love in the air, showing there are some people in this world who want to abolish hate like I do, there is already so much injustice in this world, we need to unite in this, become an equal human race, become onelove.

In the words of Harvey Milk "All men are created equal, no matter how hard you try, you can never erase those words, that is what America is!"

Obama Owns My Heart

Cami definitely has Obama pride

I can't even define my excitement that Obama has won presidency, he is the change we need to carry this country, he is the change we need so that people of all types, colors, and genders can be heard. I know he will bring about great strength to our country, he will rise from the shadows of this darkness, pull the curtains back and show the light, he will get us out, he will be the best he can be, I have no doubts. I don't know, its something in the mans eyes, politics aside, he has never struck me as the crooked politician, I feel like I can, actually trust him, now there is a concept, I can actually trust a politician, crazy.

Sadly, its been maybe 2 hours since they announced Obama as president and I'm already hearing disgusting, racist remarks from simple minded people who have nothing better to do but hate and keep this country down, keep this country at a stop, so we have no hope of ever moving forward. In 1963 Martin Luther King gave one of the most moving speeches that ever touched a generation, he had a dream that one day we as a human race would look above color, background, and breed and just see human kind, see the greatness that is in all of us, I hope one day we can make him proud, I think Obama coming into presidency is a giant step.

I am a strong advocate for choices and for diversity, which I, without any doubt, know Obama agrees with, I would never wish it upon anyone to live in a world where they had to be afraid to be themselves, I feel that if any fellow American is being judged because of the color of their skin, what they believe, or where they come from, that is not freedom, Americans are not really free, we are not free.

Freedom is for everyone, not just a select group.

I am deeply honored to congratulate Barack Obama, the next President of the United States, the change we need.

to the doubters, watch out, he will show you, just you watch